Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
The pattern of western movies
During my childhood, and adolescence, I used to like to watch western movies on the television. Today, thinking back, it is clear to me that these films influenced, I would even say, forged in some way my future. What does a missionary have to do with a cowboy hero you might ask? They are really not all that different; in fact, they share the mystique that moves them, the love for justice and freedom; they only differ in the way they act.
The majority of western movies have a similar narrative: As the movie starts at the sound of a music characteristic of this type of films, we see the cowboy riding his horse in the direction of a town. Upon his arrival, he quickly notices that there is something wrong happening in that place. The roads are deserted and the few people whom he sees are hiding in fear, behind their windows. Despite sensing a feeling of terror, which hovers in the air, the cowboy rides in, and after tying his horse, walks boldly with self-confidence and in a relaxed manner in the direction of the bar, which he opens with a kick at the swinging doors...
It is there that he encounters the villains who had already killed the sheriff, and all those who had opposed them, and instilled fear in the rest of the townsfolk. While ordering a whisky, from the bartender, he is approached by one of the bandits who challenges him; the whisky usually ends up in the face of the bandit and as soon as he reaches for his pistol, the cowboy has already shot him down and pointed his gun at the rest of the bandits. From this first confrontation it is evident that our protagonist is a tough guy and, unlike other men in the town, is not easily intimidated.
Upon leaving the bar, with the same ease he entered it, he meets the townsfolk and he learns about the seriousness of the situation. He inspires them with confidence and courage, and together they eventually come up with a plan and start to work on the liberation of the town. Oftentimes he teaches them self-defence skills, which they quickly learn, gaining this way confidence in themselves.
As in most movies there has to be some romance to awaken the interest of the viewers, the cowboy movies are no exception. So during the preparations for the final battle, a woman falls in love with the main character, thus starting a romance which unfolds simultaneously with the work of liberation.
Eventually comes the long-awaited day. With the help of the town’s people, the cowboy defeats the villains. Here the pattern of the western movies differs a little; in some movies when the people look for the cowboy to thank him, he is not anywhere to be found, only his silhouette can be seen riding at a gallop against the light of the sunset to the music that was played at the beginning of the film. In others the cowboy stays only long enough to say good-bye to those he loved, and to whom he risked his life, for true love, for truth and for justice, without asking for anything in return. It is only fitting that the folks offer him to settle there, to be their sheriff, to marry the lady... To this day I haven’t seen any western movie in which the cowboy accepts the townsfolk’s offers and settles down which would be the happy ending everybody is waiting for: “married, had many children and lived happily ever after".
He was offered power, money and love... What more could a person want under the sun? Despite of it all he refuses and does not stay, because justice, truth and peace, to what he is committed, and for what he risks his life, are asking him to remain free... If he were to accept and stay in that town, other towns would not be set free.
Opened embrace
Like the cowboy, the missionary loves universally. The entire world is his homeland and humanity is his home. He hungers for Justice and thirsts for Peace. To them, and for them, he lives each moment of his life and is always ready to give everything up, at each one of these moments.
Throughout his life, the missionary strives to love all others, equally and freely, without exception. His objective is not to belong to any one, but to be one with all. In today's society, where so much emphasis is placed on sex and where masculinity became synonymous to sexual performance, a missionary, like Jesus in his lifetime, embodies a non-erotic manner of loving. In a world where so many seek sex without love, the missionaries strive to love without sex.
A closed embrace includes some people, but excludes many others. The missionary does not close his arms around anyone in particular, this is not to say that he loves less intensely. Like a parent with many children, in the here and now of his life, the missionary loves with all intensity the person who stands in front of him, without depleting his love on that person, because like a loving parent he never runs out of love.
Although today's society tends to place sexual instinct at the same level as other individual physical needs, such as eating and drinking, the truth, which few want to admit, is that, while eating and drinking are paramount to the survival of the individual, sexual drive is only paramount to the survival of the species not of the individual.
As in all living beings sexual intercourse is oriented towards the survival of the species. The urge is felt by all so that some will eventually transmit life. Entirely neutral, sexual activity adds nothing, takes away nothing from the individual.
Therefore, the individual does not need the completion of the sexual act to preserve, to affirm or to increase his masculinity or her femininity. Men and women are different as well as complementary to each other in all areas of their masculinity and femininity, not only in their genital organs.
Love can exist and subsist, without sex because there is an infinite number of amorous situations where sex does not apply, and should never apply; on the contrary, sex without love should never happen, it makes no sense, because it transforms and degrades a person into an object of pleasure. Even in the case of consensual sex between adults where one is the object of the other and vice versa.
To love, as St. Thomas Aquinas says, is to desire the greatest good of the other. For this reason the proverb which says "actions speak louder than words" asserts that love manifests better in deeds than in lip service, just like faith. Contrary to what is often said: having sex is not "to make love", because love manifests itself in deeds, grows or dies with and because of them.
Far from being the only way, sexual intercourse is just one of the many ways to say “I love you”; and it does not apply, nor is it lawful, nor moral in many situations to express love in this way. But, even in amorous situations in which the sexual expression is correct and adequate, by itself, it neither adds nor subtracts anything from the level of love existent prior to the expression.
The necessity is to love and be loved
"All you need is love" as the Beatles used to sing in the sixties. In fact, after the basic needs, which exclude sex, to love and be loved is the only necessity and condition without which human life neither exists nor survives. No one will ever reach full maturity, as a human being, if he is not loved unconditionally during childhood and loves unconditionally as an adult.
Whoever in adulthood seeks to be loved, more than to love, is essentially behaving like a child. And since society does not tolerate adults who behave like children, they will seek to be loved in a distorted way, with deceit, manipulation and psychological games; we see this portrayed in the soap operas that occupy the prime time TV.
Since for the one who is mature, to love comes before being loved, he can endure not being loved sometimes; what he cannot endure is not to have an outlet for all his love capacity. Jesus in his earthly life, sought always to love and to serve the poorest and the most marginalized, and he cried over Jerusalem because his love was not accepted…. Jesus did nothing in order to be loved but neither did he reject it when love came his way.
Universal love, universal fatherhood
Every man, and every woman, has a natural inclination and vocation to paternity, and maternity. The missionary is called to carry this out, not in the biological or physical sense, but in the psychological and spiritual way. Even for those who are biological parents, the most important is not the brief moment in the process of conception, gestation and delivery, but the long years of the education process.
The missionary is not the father who brings forth more children into the world but the father who contributes to the formation and humanization of those who are already in the world. The missionary may be said, as was said of Jesus: He passed through the world doing good... and so contributed to a better people and a better world.
Fr. Jorge Amaro, IMC
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