Bullying

In 2013, right here at a school in Palmeira (Braga), a young boy committed suicide because he could no longer stand the systematic and persistent bullying to which his classmates had subjected him. Because silence is part of the problem, I want to be part of the solution at the start of this new school year with these lines. As I regularly visit schools to talk about the Mission, I want to help them better fulfill their role of forming not only intellectually but also humanely to be people who will take over the reins of our world tomorrow.

Bullying in chickens and pigs
During my years of specialization in Moral Theology or Ethics, I had a special admiration for the work of Konrad Lorenz, the founder of Ethology, the comparative study of human and animal behaviour. Without wanting to undermine human dignity, Lorenz concluded that many of our behaviours are also exhibited by animals, especially those closest to us in evolution.

The 5 million years that separate us from our closest primates, for better or for worse, have not been enough to transform or end the animality that is an integral part of our being. Although we are self-conscious, we exercise more or less control over ourselves, our feelings and thoughts, what we have in common with other living beings, our animal instinct, is by far what most motivates and determines our day-to-day behaviour.

When I was looking after laying hens, chickens and pigs, I noticed that whenever one of these animals was injured for whatever reason, the others would go and bite or poke at the wound until they killed the injured. Knowing this, as a child we would look inside the pen for any chicken or pig that had an open, bleeding wound so that we could remove it in time and put it elsewhere until the wound healed, before the others killed it.

"It never rains but it pours" says a Spanish proverb. Bullying is what hyenas do by chasing a thin, injured horse that is barely standing and is about to die. Bullying is the vulture chasing a baby, who is crawling with hunger and without energy in the Darfur refugee camp in Sudan to a place where there is food. I am referring to a photo that went around the world and caused the death, by suicide, of the photographer who won an award for it but did not help the child or know whether or not the child had been eaten by the vulture.

Bullying among humans is, in my view, modelled on this animal behaviour. Those who practice it seek out the weakest, the most timid and vulnerable colleagues, for they do not mess with the strong, with those who can stand up for themselves. If Konrad Lorenz were alive, perhaps he might validate my observations and conclude that bullying is animal behaviour after all, and therefore irrational.

This kind of behaviour does not only exist in schools. Bullying is what the Pharisees did when they brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus to be stoned. Bullying is what the soldiers did to Jesus by kneeling in mockery in front of him crowned with thorns saying, "Hail King of the Jews"; bullying is the cruel, blood thirsty people, without pity or mercy, in front of a Jesus covered in blood shouting, "Crucify him!" Bullying has been all the lynchings in human history, when angry people turn into the most irrational beast and the most monstrous animal. Human beings can become more irrational than animals, in fact, as Lorenz noted, they are the only animals that kill within their own species just for the sake of killing.

Psychology of the bully
Most bullies are physically stronger and taller than their peers, they specifically seek out the weakest, the most timid and the least equipped to defend themselves. Ignored and abused at home, at school they strike back or seek the respect and love they do not get at home.

Those who are not loved unconditionally at home, seek this love on the street or at school in inappropriate ways, getting into trouble with others to get notice, to gain popularity and friendship, but all they get is a false love based on fear.

When they reach adulthood, they are antisocial and more prone to commit crimes, beat their wives and children, thus producing a new generation of bullies.
 
Psychology of the victim
Victims are generally more sensitive, cautious and calm than other children; they are socially inept, never initiate a conversation and isolate themselves from their peers. As they have a negative view of violence, they flee from confrontations and conflicts and radiate anxiety, fear and vulnerability, which are sniffed out by the aggressors, in the same way a dog sniff out our fear and anxiety before attacking us.

Their fear and physical weakness, low and submissive tone of voice, are part of a body language that gives them away and attracts the bullies to them. Frequently these children are rejected, not only by the bullies but also by other classmates; they end up developing a negative attitude towards school, and when they start getting bullied, they become even more anxious and fearful, which increase their vulnerability and the possibility of being further victimized, thus entering a vicious circle and spiral of stress that leads many to suicide.

The one standing at the door is as guilty as the one robbing the house
Often the victim is in such a fragile state that, out of fear or shame, he does not report the bullying or seek help, thus ends up suffering alone... for this reason, anyone who knows a case or contemplates an episode of bullying and does nothing has an added responsibility; silence and inaction make us an accomplice.

Therefore, the opposite of bullying, is not not-bullying but being a good Samaritan, helping by condemning and reporting such behaviour.  If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem; your silence makes you an accomplice and a murderer if the victim commits suicide, like that young boy did in Palmeira.

The silence of the majority of the German people in the face of the genocide of 5 million Jews made them accomplices. Mafia bosses count on the silence of those who, even by chance, are witnesses to their actions. Without silence there would be no mafia. Without silence there would be no bullying. Our silence is therefore culpable, and part of the problem because it always leads to impunity of the perpetrators and the fatality of the victims.

Fr. Jorge Amaro, IMC